I Am All Of Us
Gosh, I really hate these thighs,
Like two big, fat, giant fries.
Gosh, I really hate this stomach,
Almost looks a little comic –
it’s an extra-extra size.
But my belly button ring -
My greatest asset, my bling-bling.
Squeezing into short-short shorts,
Decorated with all sorts.
Squeezing into that glitter top,
Sure to cause some jaws to drop.
Too short?
No way -
It’s hot today.
Just pull it down from time to time,
I’ll be fine.
Have to make sure my bra stays covered.
Adjusting it - Ah, can’t be bothered!
Just take it off, don’t like to be smothered.
Nicely bronzed summer tan,
I’m sure tonight I’ll get yer man.
A last pffft pffft to smoothe the stripes,
And everything’s gonna be alrightz!
Eyebrows: check.
Lashes: check.
Lips: check.
My hair is straight,
I look great.
It sure will all be ok,
Because I look hot today.
Tent, mat, wellies, make-up bag,
I’m all ready, nasty slag.
Ready for the party vibe,
Take a sip,
I’m such a ride.
Sean and Una pick me up,
Before we leave we have a cup.
Setting up is not that easy,
Wish my jeans were not as squeezy.
Then we’re off to hit the rave,
Party till we’re in the grave.
Downing bottles, pills, whatever,
Didn’t ask, will dance forever.
Damn, it’s freezing cold at night,
But my short shorts look alright,
Taking on that midnight fight.
In the early break of morning
Way too tired – can’t stop yawning.
Gotta take my morning dump,
Where’s the toilet in this slum?
Falling over strings and pegs,
Can’t believe we killed those kegs.
Finally I see the loo,
Boy I really need to poo.
Too bad there is no toilet paper,
Guess I gotta clean up later.
Stepping on a bloody tampon,
Nothing you want to bare footedly stand on.
Wipe it off on the wet grass,
Funny story, truly gas.
Stumble into our tiny tent,
Ignore the terribly foul scent.
Sean had puked into the corner,
Right next to the face of Orna,
But she doesn’t seem to care,
Had drooled herself into his hair.
Waking up five hours later,
Must admit I have felt greater.
And this constant boom boom boom,
Calling us to quickly resume.
Face-whipes out and off that mess,
And then quickly get half-dressed.
Putting on another mask,
It’s a skillfully practiced task.
Eyebrows: check.
Lashes: check.
Lips: check.
My hair is straight,
I look great.
It sure will all be ok,
Because I look hot today.
Have a craving, need some pizza,
Una too she really needs a
Sausage roll, some juice and bread,
Priority one: need to get fed.
Headache cured and half-recovered,
We find a stage we had not discovered.
Electro beats vibrate the floor,
We cannot stop, we want some more.
Time flies by and ere we know,
It’s 1am – end of the show.
Damn, it’s freezing cold at night,
But my short shorts look alright,
Taking on that late-night fight.
We move on though we see double,
In our happy little bubble.
Do not feel the rain a-falling,
Running to the boys – they’re calling.
Stumbling into yer man's arms,
Must have convinced him with my charms.
Falling over into the mud,
He picks me up – he’s such a stud.
Shit, I need to empty my gut.
Soaking wet, mascara running,
I’m sure I’m still super cunning.
Getting shagged behind a tree,
This universe is feckin’ free!
Waking up again next day,
Not feeling exactly gay.
Schlepping myself across the site,
Stepping into human shite.
Washing off what is left over,
Then quickly add colour and a new cover.
Eyebrows: check.
Lashes: check.
Lips: check.
My hair is straight,
I look great.
It sure will all be ok,
Because I look hot today.
On our way to the next party,
Everything’s so arty-farty.
Flashing lights into my face,
Just pissed myself – what a discgrace.
Hoping that no one has noticed,
But nobody really seems so focussed.
Boom boom boom it just goes on,
And we’re having so much fun!
Damn, it’s freezing cold at night,
But my short shorts look alright,
Taking on that late-night fight.
It’s the third night, so I’m tired,
Need a helper to get wired.
Taking out my little box,
Soon again I’m a sexy fox.
Don’t remember much what happened,
My memory’s a little blackened.
Must have been an amazing trip,
My friends and I we all had stripped.
Cannot find my shirt and knickers,
On my nipples are two stickers,
When I blink everything just flickers.
One last time go through the routine,
Dress up like a fairy-tale mad queen.
Eyebrows: check.
Lashes: check.
Lips: check.
My hair is straight,
I look great.
It’s all gonna be ok,
Because I look hot today.
